I by no means say any of this out of disrespect Hamster, Just my opinion.

I personally have no idea how you seem to be able to step back and analyze and deal with all the ins and out of how D and your Ex view you in terms of physical attraction to such microscoptic level. I have never ever been able to do something like this.

My husband is 50 there is no way I could would or should compare him to some guy I dated when I was 20. Everyones body changes good bad of indifferent. I have run into people I went to school with years agoooooooo . The have aged as they should as we all do . I have a ED that I have struggled with since I was about 10 years old .
I have been all different sizes though out the years .

As others have said society has tried to mash push and pull women into thinking we should all look a certain way.. In nature everything is different one ear of corn isnt exactly the same as the next , flowers are all slightly differant. no 2 animals are exact ..etc etc etc

The way I felt l after I read your post made my heart break. I seriously hope that dont really believe that all the negative stuff is really who you are or should even matter . I find there "view" of how you physically appear appalling ! You personally are doing all the things you can to be healthy ! Healthy doesn't not equal being skinny or looking perfect.

I think you are a beautiful person and looks have nothing to with any of it and it never matters to me in life in general. . You are kind and are always willing to comfort and help anyone and myself included on this forum...