We arrived at my aunt and uncle's early Thursday afternoon. It sits on several acres of wooded land, and they have gardens, a pool, and a fantastically smart dog. I haven't seen them in 4 or 5 years. Thankfully they said nothing about my weight. But I knew my grandmother hadn't told them much of my maladies, so I caught them up. They were pretty surprised, particularly that my family's been so unsupportive/judgemental. I knew being with my aunt/uncle would be calming, and it was, despite having little sleep and being generally anxious from all we'd done in Atlanta. We just sat around and talked. My uncle is highly opinionated, so he had a lot to say about my conditions initially. But the next day I could tell some of it set in, and he assured me, "Look, you'll Always have us, ok?" I kind of teared up. This is family in another state, extending their true support to me. It was just, alot. I wanted to stay another night, but my friend was missing her daughter, so we left Friday afternoon. My friend assured me, though, she would definitely like to go back. I want very much to as well, and I don't want to wait a year or more this time; and they said I could bring my dog,

When we got home--after the directions took us 30 min out of the way into "Deliverance"-ville--my bf wanted to go do karaoke as he was off part of the week as well. Exhausted as I was, I went because it's fun (it's a really small place) and he never gets to go cause of work. I didn't sing, but someone was smoking, and I'm very allergic to it. Afterwards we stood outside talking to a friend for 3 hours I hadn't seen in years. I slept Saturday and Sunday, not feeling rested. Also I started losing my voice, again. Essentially I pushed myself to do more and I paid for it, as I always do.

Because of the laryngitis creeping back in, I've not been able to see my therapist, and probably won't til next week. Which is bothersome, because I have so much to catch her up on, as well as needing her feedback.

Since I've been home, I've pretty much not gone outside. Not out of anxiety but because I spent all of last week around many many ppl, most whom I didn't know. I don't want to go out to my bf's parent's house and have to talk about my trip and listen to their dog bark up a storm at me while they sit idly by. I've always been this way though, even when I was doing really well in my life: I could be around ppl, be social and animated just fine, but when I'd had enough, I went home and hermited and keep to myself for awhile. No different now, except there are places I'd like to go, and someone has to take me. My only real transportation is my bf's mom, and I'm not ready to be around her (she means well, but she can be anxiety-provoking).

As far as the trip---I truly wasn't ready to come home. The first two days were ok, but filled with anxiety. At my family's house, that's where the real vacay began. Maybe it was the high of being there and finally feeling like nothing awful was going to happen. I don't know. But I could have stayed at my relatives' house another couple of days.

That's all I guess.