My first day sober. I'm going insane. I don't have a way to get anything. All I can do is cry, and smoke tons of cigs. I'm completely restless. I don't have a way to get anything until Saturday. I don't even know what to do. I'm broke, I don't have my friends numbers, and my boyfriend wont give them to me. My parents door is locked. I don't even know if i'll make it to Saturday. I will admit... that i'm addicted. I have no problem admitting that. But there's no way in hell i'm going to treatment. I can't stand those places. I hate them almost as much as I hate the feeling of being sober. All I can do is search my room completely, over and over again... looking for something, cut... alot..., sob uncontrollably, and smoke cigs. I feel like i'm going to die before I can get what I need.