Welcome to PC! I hope we are able to ease your feeling just a tab.

It is hard to know what you say, but I can assure you that you are not alone. The only friend I had who knew I had BPD abandoned me over three months ago and I was disowned by my mom after my dad died. Now I live 2,600 miles away from both of them. I had the choice of moving away and did it because it was the only thing I felt I could do to cope. Too many memories, too many opportunities to do something impulsive that could get me in a lot of trouble. It has helped some but I still need to work on it a lot.

I have a sister who is 13 years older than me. My parents never really compared me to her, at least vocally, but I was always called her name. I think I've heard her name more than mine by a long shot. The last time I saw my mom was in February at my kid's request, and I don't believe I was called by my own name once. It hurt, it stings, it always has, but there is nothing I can do about it. And they don't know anything about my BPD. I can't talk about it at all. The only person I've directly told about my BPD is my husband, and I was invalidated to the point that I don't know if I'll ever mention it again. Also, many, many negative things happened at my parents' house growing up....I can't say that I ever really looked at it as a safe haven or a place of comfort.

Give your parents a little time, then maybe write them. Express what you can't say face to face in writing. If they are scientific people, maybe they will do the research to learn more about it, I don't know. Many of us here understand the pain that alienation from parents can cause. Don't give up on them, but at the same time focus on yourself....making yourself better becasue of, or possibly, in spite of them. That is all you can do. Hang in there, don't be too harsh on yourself, and post again. You have friends who understand here.