Trusting myself is something I struggle with from time to time.
Some times, I don't appear to have an issue with it but other times I do realize that I do.
As I read articles on "trying to self help myself on this" and to get a clue on where this stems from, I think, if reading correctly it is partial of fear of disapproval from others or ridiculed by others, a tad of perfectionism, wanting to do the right things/actions/decisions and self worth .. i am sure the list can go on....
It is one thing that ex-T said she noted about me but yet she did not work with me on it...
I realize that I am not perfect, i am a human after all... I use this a lot at work when there is a problem (small usually) and the supervisor goes off the handle with it. I even tell it to others, with supervisor at work, she some times sets the standards way to high of what is expected out a normal human.
I try to remind myself this of my own expectations as well.
I was reading some where as well as this probably comes from childhood which would fit with me.
I do realize that this problem with in myself reflects onto my relationships with other people, in the meaning of that i mean, i don't 100% trust my S/O, and geez people at work very slim, and hey- I have internet friends for a reason, right? even old buds from hs that i have known for a while, they i consider internet friends due to i never do actually see them.
I know this article here is a very simplistic article
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...st-in-yourself
Surely I am capable of doing this.... on most days... however, i know it says to "be in the moment of the comfort" but at the same time I can not stop thinking of -- well what happens when that comfort is disrupted? it will be, even the article agrees with that,... take it as it comes?
I am sure this has something coupled with as well with self love... that is one thing my dad used to always tell me, need to love myself due to no one else will/may....
I am sure he meant it in a good way.
as i sit here this morning thinking back on things, my not trusting me with things has in a way damaged me.
I.e. for a path in life for a career i will use as an example. I am always unsure what i really want to do, and if i am unsure what to do then I sort of expect failure with what ever i choose to do... what if i don't like it and i get started, and then i am back at square one with what to do...
Other days I have too many things and it is like too many choices are out there for me to pick just one...
This results in me just sitting at a dead end job, going no where besides pondering and questioning myself... sure I am growing with myself as well, but at the same time-- i am not gaining anything in the area of what to do for a career if that makes any sense...
Also I will give myself some credit here, i.e. at work when things go haywire and i have to make a decision on something important, I work nights- there are no managers around, and calling them I do not always get an answer from them when I do.... some times i just have to make the decision,
the down fall to this how ever is that at work I am very much by the book-- meaning there are procedures set in place..
So i guess this giving credit to myself is still not very well with it due to -- It just reflects that I have a good memory of what to do in x or y or z cases that arise.
I realize that last friday I had trouble making a decisions on the damn tires, and that ended me up alone waiting 3 hours on a monday after noon for nothing to be done due to an issue.. if i would had made and been confident in that decision to get tires on friday morning, i would had known sooner of the issue with the rims, and also since it was the morning and i was the only one there maybe wasted 30 minutes to an hour of my time....
idk, I guess my question with my post here is -- does any one have any suggestions to strengthen this?
confidence i am realizing has some what to do with this as well, which is part of self esteem..
after i have wrote this all, I think "what a mess this is"
eh... I will post this any who.. if i find more things that are helpful i will add them to this.
be well all.
after a few minutes-- i do have a credit that i can take for this some where:
This may sound strange to those that don't know me well, but I had made the decision to leave my brother when i lived with him... surely I had not place to go but for my own mental well being I left him- Some where inside of me it felt so right, i knew some where inside I would be ok and make it some how... I did trust me with what i was doing.... I kept saying, my gut is telling me.. but it was not my gut, it was me some where.
Also the decision to stop using drugs as well... I made that on my own, i kept seeing too much destruction of it all with myself and outside with my brother..
just how to home this in when things are not so bad, ....
I know, therapy right?
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2nd edit is to add this as well.. it is nice
Quote:
Mostly trust comes from analyzing actions and consequences. You can’t regularly ask other people if you did okay, whether you were right, or how they think things went and expect to develop self-trust. When clients ask me what I think, I often tell them that when I analyze things I build my character, but when they analyze themselves they build theirs. Nice girls are often very, very unsure of themselves. Are you? Being a second-guesser, you ask other people (who usually don’t have the psychological savvy to turn the question back to you) what they think, further undermining your own views. And round and round you go until you don’t know which end is up.
In order to develop self-trust, you have to take a hiatus from asking people their opinion about things you do and say. Taking a break doesn’t mean you can’t resume after a while and balance out others’ opinions with yours. But you’ve got to get out there and use your own noodle for a while to teach yourself you’re fully capable of deciding for yourself your worth and value, whichever way the coin flips. Sometimes you’ll be thrilled to discover that you’re a pretty good egg after all; other times, you’ll be disappointed that you let yourself down. Either way, the learning is yours and no one can take that away.
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http://www.sharecare.com/question/ho...n-trust-myself
that's nice