I just find that whatever anxiety or MI group I join, I am completely different and dysfunctional compared to everyone else.

Others don't seem to have a particular problem making friends or starting relationships, or having hobbies, or running their lives, etc.

I am probably able to have a hobby, but I don't see any personal relationships for me in the near future, I am way too nervous. I am also barely able to run my own affairs these days. I struggle to even read a novel!

I spoke about the aforentioned nervousness I guess in the relationships board, where I mentioned that I 'think' I was on a kind of a date with this woman but I was too nervous and I left early. I also wanted to skype with someone earlier today but for some reason I felt unable to do so. I instead just made a video message of myself for this person . . . but then I didn't feel I could send it so I just deleted it. Maybe next time?

The point is I feel so different to everyone else. I don't know what I am missing, but I feel it's more than just the social phobia and the depression. My psychiatrist says maybe my Social Phobia is more severe than the people I am comparing myself to . . . I guess that's possible too, but it doesn't explain other stuff. Complete lack of motivation or goals, for example. Could it be that I'm just a man-child or a bum? And that because I have a MI . . . I have blamed it all on the anxiety and depression rather than face the fact that I am lazy?

I will go to sleep now, hopefully when I wake up I'll be an adult.