I would have to agree with Girl Interrupted. I understand you not being able to feel things completely, one time my wife was crying and I knew that I should feel bad but there was nothing. It was like someone had cut the connection to the feeling part of my brain for other people. The strange thing was that I did feel bad for not feeling bad, if that makes any sense. Take your time, if it was meant to be then it is meant to be. Marriage with someone with BPD can be tough for the non. My wife informed me about two months ago that she doesn't know if she can/wants to continue dealing with this. I don't say that to discourage you, just the more time you give it and the more sure you both can be the better.