before my girlfriend what diagnosed I felt the same way away bpd, that she was just being unresponsible and honestly kinda of a jerk. one thing that really helped me unsterstand that this wasn't the case with her was doing research, talking to professional therapist that have training in bpd, and talking to people on here that suffer from bpd. I also have been reading stop walking on eggshells which has helped be to understand the disorder better, and what people with bpd are going through.