My breakup is also in a really messy state right now, where it's not like we are broken up - but we did break up - but we're thinking about it? So there's this huge state of limbo and I'm feeling really... depleted and exhausted. I'm just so wholly tired. We had spoken last Monday and things had been so warm and comfortable; but there was something he'd said that had bothered me. So I wanted to clarify that? And I called him today, and it was... a really, really ... difficult conversation. Sometimes there's hope and affection, and sometime there is the complete and utter absence of it. I just ... really want to be seen for my intentions at this point. Except I am seen for ... well, my actions, which is fair - the panic attacks and the rages primarily Maybe it IS too much to ask for someone to deal with it? Maybe I'm just being really stupid and selfish and this is bad for him AND me. I'm just... tired.