hi kelly! thanks for your post. it can be really difficult to explain to someone else how to help, especially when you're still working on figuring out how to help yourself! i think it is very difficult for others to understand eating disorders. your cousin may never truly understand, having not experienced it for himself. but he can love you and support you whether he truly understands or not. i think the best thing to do, is to share with him the tools you're using to get better, and the goals you're trying to reach. it's up to you to make decisions about your own behavior. his role can be to remind you, and congratulate you for your successes. for instance: i am helping my wife to be more compliant in her diabetes testing. i know she is supposed to test her blood sugar before eating anything. if i see that she doesn't, i can remind her. if she chooses not to anyway, that's her responsibility, not mine. my job is just to be there with the reminder, or with the congratulations when she remembers on her own.
good luck. you're brave to be working on this. i'm glad you have your cousin in your corner, even if he fumbles at it.