finally called AA and have made arrangements to be picked up and taken to first meeting coz due to being recovering agoraphobic, cant make it to new meeting in next neighborhood alone.

but now i am scared and making every excuse under the sun. examining my feelings truly ... i am scared to lose the only crutch and comfort blanket i have, am scared to give up maintainance drinking!

genuine thoughts, harsh or otherwise, would be welcome plz. as well as advice as to re: am i truly ready to give up if having fears and doubts?

hugs n love