((((((((((((((((Petunia))))))))))))))))
Your post has given me chills up and down my spine. I can begin to feel your grief.
Since I have no comfort by way of mending the past, please know that you are very much loved by many people here, not only for what you give but simply because of the beauty that we can see in your soul. There are times when you radiate love. I remember when I first joined PC back in early June and you gave away more beautiful hugs in the DID forum than I had ever seen before. It was truly uplifting. Let us lift you up now.
Elizabeth