So yeah... I just tried to make myself throw up for the first time. I had been having the urge for the past two days and today I finally tried to do it. I wasn't successful - just a bunch of saliva. I have never really engaged in any kind of eating disordered behaviour before. I don't think this has anything to do with trying to lose weight. I used to cut myself a little while ago but have since stopped. It is like my mind is thinking "well if can't harm myself that way, let's do this". What is wrong with me? I feel so sick now and my stomach really hurts