I am experiencing severe psychosis. I am screaming and screaming all night long and I accidentally punched and slapped my husband, I didn't know he was next to me in bed and I accidentally hurt him. I was in a vision of being in hell and I was being tortured by witches and demons, and I started trying to fight them. That is how I accidentally hurt him. I was trying to fight the devil.

He forgave me but I feel hopeless. I had to get back on medications today. I had to. I feel like a total failure. I have been in a complete delusion and I don't know which way is up or down. My Grandmother called me today and was very comforting.

My little sister came over today and was very comforting. My husband and family are all supporting me. I am psychotic and I don't want to hurt anyone. I have been very suicidal lately. Life just seems unbearable, and I am sober still, still no cigarettes except one earlier that I had with my sister. I made dinner today, by the grace of God. I changed my clothes barely.

I ain't pretty today, but I'm breathing. I had to go back on my lithium, and xanax. I feel like a failure but it was the only way to stay safe and sane. I hope yall are not disappointed in me. I was hoping to be able to prove that medication is completely unnecessary, but I was deceived. I am sorry to let everyone down.