3 and 4 are tough ages. At the moment they're naturally going to be very demanding - can your family help you out in any way? Could your mum perhaps take care of them a couple of mornings a week or something like that? Definately look into the your husbands college daycare programme, i don't think its fair you should have to look after them all the time - that would drive anyone up the wall eventually. I hope this situation improves for you. All the best.