I do not particularly like the thought of ending it and as I've probably mentioned in other threads I am doing my best to get treatment for the psychological/mental problems I face. But I just don't see how I can go on feeling like this I mean I don't feel I've ever really been exactly mentally healthy but If I could trade the past couple months for how I felt before that I would. But I guess I'll have to settle for professional help and potentially the psych ward(well whatever, what else am I going to do sit in my room and feel like crap) or go sit at other peoples houses and feel like crap.

I keep telling myself I just have to do my best to cope with it till my next appointment without totally losing it but even that seems like it will be years away when really its more like a week. Anyways just had to vent about this somewhere as I am tired but of course with this on my mind sleep is still difficult.