Hi all. I've been in recovery since November 2005. I went for a presurgery psychiatric exaltation yesterday. I have to have multiple surgeries in order to not be in a wheelchair permanently. The psychiatrist has issues signing off on me having surgery due to past drug and my mental health issues. I currently have a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. I have not had any issues related to my diagnosis in years and have been taking my medicine as instructed for years. She said due to my past problems which were over six years ago, I may not be a good candidate for surgery. This is very upsetting to me. I am a single mom of two young children ages 3 and 5. First and foremost I strive to be the best mother I can be. I feel guilty every day for not being able physically to do all the things other mothers can do. If I don't have these surgeries in approximately six months our so I will be permanently in a wheelchair and have done permanent nerve damage. Which means I will be even less capable of taking care of my kids not to mention we will no longer be able to live in our current residence. We live in a trailer which is too small for a wheelchair to fit thru doors and hallways. In my opinion I have done really well over the past six years. I find it extremely unfair that the psychiatrist is holding this against and by doing so will make my life exponentially worse and could possible make me permanently disabled. I understand that what I did was wrong regarding the drugs but I have done everything possible to make up for that. I don't think that mistake is grounds to punish me forever. I could understand if I wasnt stable and had relapses over the years or if I had psychiatrist hospitalizations but I haven't. It's very discouraging to do the right thing and get my life together to just have this mistake being held against me. How long do I have to pay for my mistake.