Wolfin' - I think I understand what you are saying. You don't want your t to know about your coping mechanisms in case you use them in a session or t thinks you are attention seeking from t?

I was that way telling my t about the si I did many years ago. It was for attention getting and I was afraid if I told her she would think my si now was for the same reason: to get her attention. I told her anyway. It was tough. I notice she will never dwell on the topic if its brought up, but I guess that can be common among t's.