You can't buy affection or love, you need to live life for yourself, but also with someone that supports you unconditionally. People have a hard time grasping what anxiety really is, even older educated people. You need more time before making any more big decisions, you have your own life to live, he already lived his (with a kid, and older than you).

If you keep apologizing and buying stuff, you're at a risk of going bankrupt. He is already too comfortable, don't let him try to push your limits or take advantage of you. Set limits, make him work for it!