There has been one time when I felt I wasn't being understood and I said in a rather exasperated tone of voice, "You are not hearing what I am saying". T stopped and asked me to repeat what I wanted her to hear.... adn then she actually heard it!

I know when T wants me to hear something that she is sayonig she will emphsize it and gthen say- "OK . What did you hear me just say?". Maybe that would help T understand if you asked her to interpret what she heard you say?