Hi ~ Are you under the carre of a therapist now? If you're not, perhaps you should be. Why not ask your doctor to refer you to a good therapist? I think you should talk to one and see what's going on, and why you're feeling this way. He can help you deal with any issues you may have.
Keep us posted will you? Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee 
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The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield
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