Ray, good stuff.

Tiger, if I were you I would take her up on her offer. What do you have to lose? Things already suck, how much worse could they get for reaching out when someone extends the hand of help? Do whatever you want to do, no one is going to make you do anything, just remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

I’ll try to make this short, but you asked a couple of good questions, lets see if I can answer them all.

#1 “You think a bunch of alcoholic sob stories are going to move me to sobriety?” Nope! That will have just about no effect, but working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, now that is another question entirely. That simple process has saved more hopeless alcoholics/addicts than any other program, rehab, or medical intervention, period!

#2 What's left? AA? A breeding ground for drinking buddies/drug connections? Remember Tiger; the rooms are full of the sickest people among us. Some of us get sponsors, and make this step work part of our lives, and in return, get our lives back, but most of us don’t. The sad reality is, most people in our position just go on drinking and drugging for the rest of our lives.

#3 this is the one that struck me, this is the one I get very well. This one was me. “Still using even when you wake up and say, "Today is the first day I don't use". That my dear is the best question you asked. The simple fact that we don’t believe we are powerless over our next hit or drink trips up more people trying to get clean and sober than anything else. How do I tell it no, and make it stick? We (read the lucky ones) start with admitting we don’t possess that ability to tell it no and make it stick. Left to my own will power, I would be drunk. I know that. That fact has saves my *** more times than I can count.

#4 “It's different when you can tell someone you know and trust and care about face to face "I'm an alcoholic" Tiger, that is what a sponsor is for, Someone you trust, and can tell the whole truth to. It feels good to get all the crap out in the open.

#5 “we are not in the same place right now, and we probably never were,” True enough, but we, all alcoholics/addicts are more alike than we are different. We really are. We all of us have a great deal in common.

#6 “What did you do to get sober?” I walked into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in the fall of 1998, hung over and scared to death. I didn’t know what else to do. I was a daily drunk, on the verge of throwing my family and every thing else I gave a damn about in my life away in order to maintain my access to alcohol. I would tell you I loved my children more than my arms, and I suppose it was and still is true, but the fact was I loved the buzz more. It always came first, always. They suggested 90 meetings in 90 days, and to get a sponsor. Like I said, I had run out of good ideas, so I said OK.

#7 “How much money did it cost you to be sober? $5.50, that was the price of a Big Book back then, it will cost you maybe $7.00 today. Where was then and still is now no additional out of pocket. OK, they pass the basket, to cover the cost of the coffee, but you don’t need to put in a dime. The ONLY requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking and drugging. Real simple.

#8 “How addicted were you and to how many substances? At one time or another… Heroin in Viet Nam, strung out big time. Crystal Meth in Germany, with a syringe, that is the worst drug on the planet. It does more damage to the body and mind that anything else. Lots of LSD stationed in the US. The Army in the late 60s was a mess. After that, it was mostly alcohol, a bit of cocaine, and lots of reefer. But through it all, alcohol was always my fall back plan. Alcohol was always in the picture somewhere.

#9 “What was it like having *anyone* to confide in? It felt and still feels better than you imagine. Tiger, you don’t want to miss out on it.

It’s OK that you are angry, anger is a classic form of fear, and living your life as it is now ought to scare the hell out of you. And the prospect of change, fundamental change that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous requires is very scary as well.

Just don’t let the contempt prior to investigation Raynaadi talked about keep you on the outside looking in. Join the winning side; again, I ask the question, what do you have to lose?

This one got a bit long, but you asked a some good questions.

Richard