My kids drove me a little crazy at that age too. It's what they do! My three kids are all only one year apart.. so I had a 1,2, and 3 year old all at once. I hear you. It does get better and easier as they get older.

A play group, day care or something to give you a break here and there would be a big help. I didn't have the option of day care but I joined a play group and that helped a bit, my MIL would sometimes take them so I could get a little break.

It's a tough age, at that age they are usually testing all the boundaries trying to figure out just how far they can go, and which buttons they can push, and they can push them all, all at the same time. I don't think they intentionally ruin the stuff you set up for them, but yes it can feel like it at times.

How does the discipline and structure go down in your home? Does your husband help implement the rules when he is around, or is it all riding on your shoulders? When he is around does he spend time with them, take them to the park to get some of that energy burnt off or anything? There are also usually parenting classes in the community and stuff like that, if you feel like you need more support.

I am a single mom, I know what it is like to have to all the parenting jobs alone, without much break. It's really hard, and wears you out that is for sure. When they were the age of yours I would wait till they were playing quietly or having a nap, take my little tv into the bathroom and have a hot bath with the door open just in case.

Hang in there, it will get better.