Yep, i'm def not in adult-mode right now that is for sure. And i do have major attachment issues. I probably am testing her a bit but i honestly feel like if i push too hard i'll lose her anyway.

I feel like pushing really really hard because i am angry but i am equally as terrified that i will succeed in pushing her away. I want to push her away because i don't like being emotionally reliant on anyone yet if i succeed at pushing her away i'll be devastated. Yet... what the point of getting attached to someone u see an hour a week. Someone who can quite easily get rid of you and not even care because it's just their job.