I wouldn't really be feeling safe in that situation, either. How can you feel safe when you can't know from what she is saying to you what's really going on? That was the situation for so many of us growing up... things are said, but contradicted later, or things are not said and expected to be understood.

It seems almost passive-aggressive to me. I don't know what's going on with her, but I think sometimes T's do forget the power they wield... they have access to both what they are thinking and feeling, and whatever you tell them (verbally or not) about what you are thinking and feeling. You only have the latter, and so are VERY reliant on clarity and consistency. She's not being clear or consistent!

You do have to call her on it, though. Sometimes she might not even realize she hasn't connected two inconsistent things she's done, and doesn't realize you're missing the link between the two. Other times, you just need to stand up for what you know is right for you. Come up with a plan for who initiates hugs, stuff like that.

As for your sexuality... yeah, kind of a big deal. Does it feel like she's kind of checking out? Does she seem preoccupied? How long have you had this feeling of her kind of withdrawing or failing to communicate?

Sorry you're dealing with this