My visits with my Psychiatrist usually list 15 minutes. I tell him I am feeling blah and food has no taste and I have to fake emotional interest in people. He just smiles, tells me I am stable and renews my prescription.

The last visit I was so depressed I broke down into tears and lost control of myself. I was in there for an hour (the office closed around us). He typed on his computer and showed me where the tissues were. He then doubled my prescription and told me to go back onto the Abilify. I have flat out refused to take it again.

My counselor hates my psychiatrist and they have had a falling out. He has urged me to find another one and I have an appointment with a new one in November.

My frustration is that I haven't had a manic episode mild or otherwise since I was first diagnosed three years ago. In that time I have spent at least nine months in a deep depression where I was/am having dark thoughts. This has to end and I don't intend to live the rest of my life like this.