I don't think you have changed the subject. There is a disconnect. Your first sentence of this thread says you love your husband. Then your last post says you think you are not in love with your husband.

You have a lot of work to do (deciding what you want and taking care of you). Do you have a counselor with whom you may talk over about this stuff?

Unresolved issues tend to follow us around. I hope you find the strength and courage to resolve the problems with your husband (whether you stay or leave). Maybe get to the root into the "why's" or "how" a person would end up involved with a man she doesn't love. Maybe it's past relationships, unresolved issues?

(((((((((((((desirae))))))))))) major huggs