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Rapunzel said:
My advice is for both of you to work on your issues in therapy before you get married. You may love each other, and it can be real, but a codependent relationship isn't healthy. There are several problems that can happen. One or both of you may feel locked into unhealthy patterns that make it hard to grow. One of you may progress past the other one, who may or may not be interested in change (at that time, or ever), and you would be mismatched and one could drag the other down. Or this could happen in cycles - one starts to get better and the other drags them down, then you switch roles and repeat the pattern again. There are many possibilities for abuse even though neither of you would think of being abusive now. Your children will learn unhealthy relationship patterns rather than healthy ones and repeat the cycle with their own families.

I would strongly urge you both to learn about codependency and work on your own healing first, and then get married if that is still the right thing.

One more thing - your religion and values are very important to you, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but please make your decisions with consideration for your own needs and abilities. I have made major life decisions out of feeling pressured by other people and by what I thought was expected of me (religiously/culturally). Those did not turn out to be the best decisions for me. You can read about my experiences there if you look up "Rapunzel's Story" in the personal stories section. Or feel free to PM me if you like.

Rap

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I already said codependency can be an issue.. but my parents married 30 years and still love each other. that other lady that replied also had codependency got over it.

And maybe you think religion is not good, but my girlfriend and I know God is good for what He has done in our lives. Please do not try to discourage people from pursuing their relationship with God. You know sometimes God wants something, and sometimes parents want something, and sometimes we wants something, and sometimes we think all are the same. Think does not always mean is.

However.. I know that God brought my girlfriend and I together some reason. We are friends.. We are wating to see what God brought us together for. We are seeking help we need in the meantime. Struggling with codependency is not what is bad.. What is bad is let codependency thoughts make all the decisions. A good relationship should be based on grace, love, and trust. We know that.

And don't tell me people that struggle with codependency can never have relationship and cannot instill good values. My parents raised myself and my siblings just fine.