I see you have already received a lot of heartfelt replies, but I am so sorry you are going through all this.

Recovery isn't easy. In fact, in my personal opinion we never really recover. Cutting is something that you will have to work on, and you will be able to stop. It seems hard right now, I know, but it is like riding a bicycle. You fall off, you get back on and try to ride longer the next time. Same scenario, if you relapse you have to just tell yourself it happens and it is okay and then you keep doing what you were doing when you didn't SI for so long. I had a ton of relapses, but it seemed as if they kept being farther and farther apart, until eventually it just wasn't a part of my life anymore.

I understand how it feels being the ages we are. I am trying to go through college while also working. I actually have an interview tomorrow for a better job, and not am I nervous. I hate interviews, I always freeze on the questions. Yesterday my anxiety was so bad my chest was hurting, and I felt like I couldn't breathe all day. So I know all about the anxiety part, it is awful. I just want you to know that you aren't alone.

You are at a very delicate stage in your life, I know because I am there. We are trying to plan our lives, and at the same time deal with all the pressures of today. I thought I had my life.planned a year ago. I had everything I wanted nearly and was ready to start a family and everything. It all came tumbling down and now I feel like I am having to start all over.

What you have to do is be proud of yourself and the situations you are in now. You are working towards something, and at the same time you are recovering. It isn't an easy thing to do, or to balance the two things at once. I know it is frustrating and filled with pressure. I just want you to know that no matter how bad things get, we are here to support you through your trials. I don't think your friend is being a very good friend by not being there for you, it is this time where you need that comfort and support the most. I know you offer that to a lot of members here, and now it is your turn to get some comfort and support. Here is to things looking up for you, as I know they will .