The shame comes across to me loud and clear ~ what's the cause? Have you been sexually abused? How old are you?

ETA: I have been abused in several ways myself throughout my childhood, which helped put my self-hate and shame in the highest range. I am slowly overcoming my shame about certain incidents, and other incidents are tougher for me to accept & not blame myself. Self-hate is still up there. The sooner that you get major help (100% honesty about your issues), the better for you!

Wish you the very best!!