thanks (((((((((myself))))))))))) for sharing.

you know, you make another good point in the fact that i think i'm the BEST at bluffing it through. i never realized how this mind automatically (like blinking and breathing-without thought) reacts to others facial expressions, the environment, etc. because i was so unsure of experience, but also because i realize that even when i thought i was "here", i was in and out alot and would miss many more parts of convos, etc., than i had any clue of. i would notice the larger amounts of time, but i lost alot regularly in bits and would have to bluff my way through it. i was so used to it, and it became an automatic response, that i had to work HARD to try not to do that and to, at the least, let people know they'd lost me.

that's another reason being online works so well for me. i can read something five times if i have to before responding. it's kinda cool that people can't see in that respect.

this convo makes me realize how far i've come...even from a couple of years ago. alot of this was tackled early in therapy...the communication/understanding/staying present part.

KD