I don't think you are doing anything horrible to your T. Quitting and even sending *****y emails is not doing anything to a T. Feeling like you want to send an even *****ier email that suggests your t does not care for you is just a feeling, it's not an action. Even if you were to do that, you're not going to irreparably wound your T or your relationship with her.

I do think you could benefit from gaining some perspective that "heavy stuff" is not the right place for email. It is understandable that you would feel your T withdrawing, but the more accurate interpretation is that she needed to set a boundary with you, for your benefit in processing this, that you need to discuss it in session. I think you know this, and you can just as easily send an email asking to have your session as you did in quitting. I suspect you'll feel better if you do this.

I think sometimes when we are angry at T and we feel we are locking horns with them, we are really locking horns without ourselves and I think our T's are secretly pleased and cheering us on. So if all that is stopping you from re-engaging in your therapy is that you think that you've thrown "crap" at her, well I suppose you have, but it is likely part of a process that will lead you somewhere better and it's all in a day's work for a T.

Email or whatever and ask to have a session. You don't even have to mention that you quit.