Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
Sally, this post bothers me. My other daughter loves to hug and be hugged. I will say that I have a better relationship with that d because she doesn't have the issues this one has. It's true. My d. didn't like my H hugging her either. Do you think it's because I've criticized her a lot? Is that what you think? She is particular about germs, washes her hands a lot, and probably has OCD. That's part of it. But the other part is, you think, because she doesn't see that I love her because she always comments on how negative I am. This trip I tried to change that, but my H and I both felt we were unwanted and a burden to our d. and sil. We were there for a specific holiday that lasted over a week. Maybe next year we can work it out so we only go for half of it.
My d didn't want to take the time to take a picture of me with the one grandchild who was home from school before we left. She has a million things to do. She did take a few minutes, but I don't know. She said she's always tired, and so is my sil. The whole situation bothers me because I am helpless to do anything about it!
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Don't put words in my mouth, Rainbow. I never said I thought it was because you criticized her a lot.
If you're so certain that her not wanting to be hugged is because she is a germaphobe and OCD, then why do you hug her?? If she genuinely does not like being touched, then you are disrespecting her boundaries.
All I am saying is that if you don't know why, then you should probably figure it out. If you believe there's a possibility that it has something to do with the interaction between your daughter and her parents, then it's going to take more than a week at her place to figure that out. But if you are so certain that it has nothing to do with you, you are doing her wrong by invading her space. You can't have it both ways, just hug her and complain when she doesn't return your hugs warmly, then get upset when it's suggested that it might have something to do with your relationship and insist that she doesn't like being hugged because she's OCD, which just indicates that you are hugging her despite seemingly knowing she doesn't want it or like it.
That your other daughter likes being hugged isn't relevant. My brothers are much more open to physical affection than I am. We have the same parents, and frankly, traditional gender stereotypes would predict it as the other way around. We have different relationships with our parents.