Rainbow if we all could get this much attention and have people analyse and give us " the answer " as you do in here, none of us would get anywhere.
We pushed you to DBT, convince you emailing your T is hurting you, get blunt then clap our hands when you make a sudden, but often short change.
Rainbow come here for support and not therapy and attention.
YOU have to work out your own stuff sometimes.
We are all reinforcing this pattern of yours. You have to ASLO work on your issues in T and not just focuse on talking about your therapist in sessions with her. Most people in here don´t expect to have the other members doing the work for them.
Sorry I love this forum and would not want anyone not getting the support they needed. But it seems to me that you have to put some effort in it too. Not just convince everyone of us after we post that now you have done this and that to make a change. You are fooling yourself and us. Sorry this is a blunt post it´s just hard to watch when the pattern in here is regonized also.