wow, you guys have given me a LOT to think about - thank you! i really appreciate all the feedback.

i fought the urge to call my therapist today, as i'm not sure how much it'll help. i'm just feeling very alone and overwhelmed in dealing with all of this. i kind of can't stop thinking about it. i went to a dinner party at my neighbor's last night, but i felt like i was some place else with my thoughts. now i'm leaving soon to go away for the weekend, and i don't want it to be like last night. it'd be nice to take a break from all this for a little bit, for sure.

anyway, thanks again everyone!