Sorry you're in so much pain ((Hellion)). See if this kind of thinking might help - when a person's in incredible mental pain....all they can think of, is how awful they feel and this makes them frustrated and impatient. They want relief right now and this fuels even more frustration. Acceptance is handy in this situation - it doesn't mean giving up on getting better or trying...it just means you're going to take what's happening for now and put aside the beating yourself up and yearning for a solution. It becomes a never ending circle of pain.....you want to be better but you're not.

Could you try for one day, to put all your pain in a mental box and shut it. Then go and enjoy your day. Whatever worries you can't solve, don't waste time on them. This tactic has been useful to me because I'm living in a situation and stuck ATM. I would imagine prisoners of war and prisoners in regular prisons who survive better also do this. Being grateful for small things you have also helps too - yes it can be worse for all of us. I hope this helps a little and you find some relief.