Thank you, Nina...
I feel trapped in a box. I'm overwhelmed with post-graduate work. It's too much and I feel like I'm going to fail. I'm in a long distance relationship that isn't really an official relationship and not being able to see him is killing me and on top of that, I think he's bipolar and hasn't told me yet. He went from being really caring and attentive to almost non-existent in a matter of days. My mother is smothering me simply with her presence. I miss having my own space and being alone. I have no one to talk to really because I'm so far from home and school has me too busy to maintain friendship. I haven't had a best girlfriend in years. My best friend is a guy and there's only so much I can talk to him about, especially because he's in love with me. I haven't been sleeping well. My dreams are filled with nightmares about being beaten and scratched up and humiliated. I spent last night actively kicking in my sleep. I was supposed to quit smoking but now I just don't even want to stop. The thought of wanting to die keeps coming to my mind and it bothers me that it does. And now, even as I write this, I feel guilty for feeling bad about any of this. It's all in my head and nothing to worry about. But I can't breathe.