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Oct 12, 2012, 03:17 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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An "outsider to outsiders" - good one. I'm "way out there" too. 
When I was a kid, people would ask me what I wanted to BE when I grew up. I'd tell them I wanted to be ME. The thought of turning into someone else did not sound very appealing. I thought my only option was to become an adult - I thought my only goal was to grow old. I never heard an oak tree ask a cherry tree..."What do YOU want to be when you grow up?" Have you? I'm quite certain the answer wasn't a table or footstool. 
I tried very hard, but I never seemed to meet the standards of others and/or the goals they set for me.
I'm not comfortable being molded or molding myself into someone else's image just to fit into a group. I never have and I never will be able to force someone else to love me, like me or welcome me with open arms into their circle without some sort of catch. I'm either too vile and vulgar for their taste, of no use to them, or too "wild" to belong in their group. I refuse to be anyone's puppet, I'm not tempted by carrots, and I can't/won't be tamed. Just ask my husband. 
Good luck. I hope you're given a label that suits you - if that's what you want. I got me a fancy label now - "freak of nature." I've been tagged "chronic, progressive and terminally disabled....of no use to society." I never would have guessed that's what I'd grow up to BE one day. 
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