How about not sitting down with her? I don't know how old she is but maybe she needs to take full responsibility. As a parent its your job to help our children grow up to be independent adults. Sitting with her and forcing her does not help I wouldn't think.Maybe it really is time to step aside, and let her deal with what happens. Besides its driving both of you nuts and that is certainly not helping either one of you! In my much younger days I would have been just as stubborn. She does not want you to harass her because as you said, in school she does great! You have to let go and trust your lovely daughter!