Im not sure ive interpreted your post correctly but are you saying you feel insecure about how your girlfriend behaves when you aren't with her? The reality of the situation is that no matter who you are with, relationships don't define people - we all have a right to lead a life outside the one we lead with our partner. I would definately seek professional help so that you have a better chance of being able to manage your anxieties and maintain healthy, fulfilling relationships. All the best.