I only just arrived to this wonderful support community and I am hoping you don't mind if i jump right in.

All I really wanted to say is this;

Seems to me that in your head and heart, you know what happened was way wrong, but your body betrayed you by enjoying what it was designed to enjoy and that causes you this huge burden of shame and guilt. You cannot control your body in situations like this.

The shame is not yours to own, so I hope you can soon give it to those who abused you.. they are the rightful owners of that shame, wether they accept that or not.. it is true.

One day at a time.. be gentle with yourself.

Peace,Faith