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Originally Posted by xxKaneLovesZoexx
Hi Everyone, I'm in need of some help, again.
A year ago my girlfriend was invited for 'coffee' with her work friend. As she didn't know what 'coffee' was intended, she willingly said she would. I found out and we argued and fought, and she still said she would. I was admitted into ICU for Attempted Suicide. I just couldn't be bothered and I decided if this was going to happen, then I was going to leave. Anyway, she realized about half a year after it meant that. So we were okay, until I came to a coffee shop. I actually refused to go in, I hate coffee now and thinking about it kills me..
And then there was a holiday. I stick to my promises more than anything, they're what I live by, my girlfriend know's it too. She was then invited on going on holiday with her college friends as they were leaving College to go to Uni. I said I didn't want her going as I knew she'd disappoint me, but fine, she went. And sure enough she got drunk on her second day, and she told me many hurtful things. Now I cannot bare thinking about holidays, or even thinking about Alcohol, I hate her going out now, and even worse hate her going out with her friends. But I just still try and let her get on with it.
What do I do? |
I'm not sure what you can do exactly, but as I was reading your post, it seemed to be that a lot the causes of your behaviour are, according to you, the behaviour of your girlfriend/. As in, she does something, and it "makes" you do something/feel something/etc. I'm not sure how this will land with you, but I do think somewhere we need to distinguish between the triggers of our emotions/behaviours and the causes. The triggers can be external, but the CAUSE is internal. So I would ask you, where in your life you've learned that hurting yourself is punishment for others? Or, where you've learned that someone else has the power to disappoint you?
Just... tossing in a few questions and thoughts. Really hoping everything works out. Hugs and love..