Also paranoia and possessiveness are not love - they are symptoms of a crisis internally. I will also say they are NATURAL reactions to the THOUGHT that you are being abandoned by someone you love. So paranoia and possessiveness do not negate that you love and are loved, but they really colour the relationship differently.

What I'm suggesting is, you have needs that are basic and human - to be loved, to be cherished, to love, to care for, connection, acceptance, etc. But you alone are responsible for fulfilling these needs. If this relationship doesn't meet your needs, you need to perhaps question yourself a little about why you're in it. At the same time, you are responsible for the symptoms of unmet needs - fear of abandonment, paranoia, etc. Those also come from you. And you can choose to meet these head on.

Hug!