Okay Kane ~ I'm back...

I responded to a post of your back in February. You were suffering from jealousy from an event that occurred a few months before, but had recently been diagnosed with BPD. Posting this Q in the BPD forum may be a little more helpful to you in the future, as we have a different perspective towards issues like these when the person does have BPD (or manic-depression & is in the Bipolar forum, etc..).

Those of us w/BPD, like myself, are known to be extremists. Whatever we do or don't believe isn't half-arsed, it's whole-hearted! That can be seen as a little sweet to some people at times. A lot of other times, however, we're seen as a PIA. They don't want to give in to our paranoia, in fear of reinforcing it.

I KNOW how hard it is to let your gf do what she wants ~ but, she's going to do what she wants anyway. Letting your gf know how paranoid you are is sure to push her away farther. I also know how miserable it feels to let her go to clubs and parties. Especially because you don't drink & you know how people often get when drinking. It's pretty damn scary!! But, if you try to hold your gf down, she will resist more and more. She needs some space and trust. Even if you have to chomp down on a carrot stick, to prevent yourself from blurting out hurtful accusations...If you're determined to be with your gf, you're going have to give her a little more space. You should be working with a T & try to get into a group therapy for more experience and better insight.

I wish you the very best!! Gentle hugs to you, Kane.