Quote:
Originally Posted by gon3withth3wend
I'm feeling extremely terrible about myself right now. Cutting is a relatively new thing for me (Not a whole year where I've actually been deliberately breaking skin with other objects), and I want to stop before it gets really bad. I have a lot of scars on my hip, and then one day I realized that the scars on my hip meant that my body in swimsuits would look terrible, and then doctors would notice, and any of my future partners would notice. So then I moved to my arms, where I could cover it, but I realized covering my arms was harder than I thought. I've spent so many days feeling really self conscious. I want them to go away. I don't think anyone has realized yet. But I want the scars to go away! I keep on reading that they don't, and I really don't want to believe that. I think I might have made it worse by cutting over scars after they already start to heal also. I want to stop and fix it before people find out, before it gets bad. Is there really no way to make them go away, or make them a lot less noticeable? I used to be so happy that unlike other girls, I had no stretch marks or body imperfections. I know it sounds terrible, I always thought, no matter how unhappy I was, "At least I'm still pretty". And I've been taking that away from myself. Sorry. I'm venting now. I really just want to know if there is a way to get the scars to go away, and if there is anything that I may be tempted to do that is unsafe. I have a type of bleach that I used on my face for acne scarring, but I'm not sure if I can start putting it on cuts that are still kind of open.
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nope none of my scars went away. most scars dont go away sometimes some will fade to a faint white line instead of a huge brownish or red-ish line but that took months to a year for that to happen.
I like your idea of stopping now before it gets worse. a suggestion for you, let what ever marks you have now heal up then talk with your treatment providers.. if you dont have any recent cuts theres no reason for them to hospitalize you and most treatment providers around here are very willing to work with someone who lets them know ***before*** they do anything or ***before*** the thoughts turn into actions.
my own treatment provider and I have a contract that we made up with her agreeing not to hospitalize me if I call before I do anything and when I call her I must be open to meeting with her and being willing to talk and working on what ever is causing me to feel like I want to cut. I have been self injury free for a real long time now, so much time that its not much of an issue with me any more.
if you really want to stop, I know you can do it, I did and i was a many many cuts a day type person. if I could do it any one can. its hard work but well worth it.