I love love love your "rant." I struggle with this myself. Before starting my meds, I was slightly under my normal weight (from all the fidgeting and shaking from anxiety). Generally, most of my life I've been a healthy 130-145, my size ranging from 12-14. I have always been hourglass, and I can attest that even in my slimmer days I had the hardest time finding jeans that fit my wide hips but weren't baggy in the waist...or finding a top that fit my boobs, but wasn't too big in the shoulders. **Also I want to add that I HATE shopping; I hate the harsh lights that point out every microscopic dimple, stretch mark, fat roll, etc. Also, I get easily hot, and the dept. stores are notoriously kind of warm (especially under those lights in the dressing rooms.)

Having said all that, after lots of diff meds, I have ballooned to over 200 pounds. I never ever thought I could look like this. I hate it. I'm not against bigger women, my mom is naturally bigger boned and it looks right on her. But my natural frame is slim--aside from the curves--and now I look like a walking marshmallow. So yeah, I am uber lazy about finding nice clothes, spending the money...I feel I'm reinforcing to myself it's ok to be overweight and unhealthy.

Oddly, even with the weight and water gain (my grandmother even said I don't look like a typical overweight person, but more like I'm carrying med weight around.), I still have my waist, though of course it's big like everything else. Luckily when I gain, it goes everywhere instead of one spot making me look disproportioned.

Blah. That's all I can say. It disgusts me to talk about.