Hello and welcome to PC! I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I am in my 40's also and have had anxiety and depression since my teens. I, however, have responded well to meds. I do still have issues with depression and anxiety on meds, but they are more managable and less frequent.

I'm curious, have you ever been in therapy? I found therapy to be just as important, if not moreso, as meds to help me feel better. And I'm a bit concerned that you say your pdoc thinks you are nuts. If your meds aren't working have you tried different ones? Maybe that would help?

As for your questions about typical, I really think there is no typical in mental illness. We are all different. I think it is not unusual for some people to have dramatic mood swings even on medication, especially if it is not the right type of medication.

I'm glad you are here and hope to keep hearing from you on these threads!