Petunia it took me 14 yrs to grieve for my mom.. I cant imagine having to grieve for everyone that you've lost in your life. Be patient with yourself. The tears are ok hon. Its part of letting the emotion go. Something my t gave me to do that helped me was to write mom a letter telling her how much I love her and how I never will forget her . How she will live on in my memories and in my heart. But that it was time I had to let go of the sadness I felt inside for not having her around. And to take that letter and go read it to her and then burn it somewhere. Its meant to be closure . I dont know if this will work for you. Or if you even want to try it. But its there if you do. I hope soon you will have peace in your heart and mind my dear friend. I love you!

Hugz
Bethy