I've been awake for an hour, I have not gotten out of my bed nor do I want too!!! I have cried since the second I woke up. I cannot believe that the kids and I are suffering through so much hell when my husband was the one that cheated!!! He gets the carefree life, the new girlfriend, no kids to support etc. All while we get to move to another state, only with our clothes, experience grief of not having a family unit anymore, my stable job of working for Fema gone. Obviously this crap has affected me more than I thought because for it to be 2 years later and becoming so drained from this constant struggle and to have this overwhelming urge to just call him and his ***** up to let them know how much they truelly screwed the kids and I over is crap. I don't have a choice in anything, I am the ONLY person my kids have, I have NOBODY. I hate him for this. Even though our marriage was not good it was atleast stability for our children and how dare he take that away and not even realize it!!!! He seriously blames me for his son not wanting to come see him!!!! I'm so damn lonely, I wish that I had the ability to just have someone come hold me... I can't even reach out for a new relationship because I can't allow the possibility that my children could like them and get hurt again...