Hiya

first of all id like to say i really respect your honesty.

I do know what you mean. I too have the same problem. With me it fluxiates, sometimes my prents seem amazing and other times they mean nothing to me and.i dont really know why.
I have endured some abuse in the past from a few different people and i know that this has greatly affected my emotion regulation (bpd)

I think this may be why i sometimes feel like peopke mean nothig to me.it takes very little for people to really.upset me and i no longer want to have anythig to do with them, it can literally be if someones late or hange plans i get really agrrivated and upset with them but at the same time it doesnt take me too long to let them off.

I know that i really do lack emotions in a lot off instances but to be honest fpr me, it keeps me safe. Even if aonetinnes it is a bit lonely.

Try councillig see how it goes, personally i was shitwih it but ive got no guts to say the truth so if u do iy five it a good go!!

Good luck